How to Talk to Your Spouse About an Uncontested Divorce

Talking to a spouse about an uncontested divorce  is a unique situation that may involve different considerations than approaching a spouse in a contested divorce scenario. Here are some steps to navigate the conversation when both spouses are believed to be in agreement about the decision:

  1. Choose a Calm Setting:
    Select a quiet and private setting where you both can talk without interruption. Choose a time when you both are relatively calm and can focus on the conversation without external pressures. If you have children, be sure they can be at a friend or relative’s house.
  2. Express Unity:
    Begin the conversation by expressing that you’ve given this decision careful thought and believe that an agreed divorce is the best way forward for both of you. Emphasize that you are presenting this as what you believe to be a mutual decision.
  3. Use “We” Statements:
    Frame the conversation using “we” statements to emphasize that this is a joint decision. For example, say “We have both considered our options,” rather than “I have decided.”
  4. Highlight Common Ground:
    Reinforce the areas where you both agree and see eye-to-eye. This helps to establish a foundation of unity, which is essential for a smooth and amicable divorce process.
  5. Acknowledge Emotions:
    Recognize that even in an agreed divorce, emotions are still present. Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation and express empathy for any emotions your spouse may be experiencing.
  6. Clarify the Agreement:
    Clearly outline the terms of your agreement regarding important aspects such as property division, spousal support (if applicable), child custody, parenting time, and support. Having a well-defined agreement can provide reassurance and minimize uncertainty.
  7. Be Open to Questions:
    Encourage your spouse to ask questions and seek clarification on any aspects of the agreement. Reassure them that you are open to discussing the details and addressing any concerns they may have.
  8. Discuss Next Steps:
    Outline the practical steps that will follow the decision, such as the ultimate divorce filing and any necessary documentation. This can provide a roadmap for the process.
  9. Maintain Respect:
    Continue to approach the conversation with respect and understanding. Even though you both agree on the divorce, it’s crucial to preserve a positive and cooperative tone for the sake of a smoother process.
  10. Agree Upon Next Steps
    Before the conversation ends, ensure you’re on the same page regarding next steps, including who is taking the lead on what!

Approaching a spouse about an agreed divorce requires sensitivity and open communication. By emphasizing unity, acknowledging emotions, and maintaining respect, you can foster a collaborative atmosphere that facilitates a smoother transition into the next phase of your lives.